we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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