Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
