You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
