Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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