with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
