DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
