I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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