I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
