I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
