I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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