We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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