evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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