i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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