Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Drunk is not a location!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
