Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
