Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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