I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
