I am spending my child support on dildos
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
