How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
