Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
