we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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