Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
