apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize