I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
try to milk me bitch
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
