Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
