are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
