my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
