he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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