but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
