I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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