you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How does one acquire holy water?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
