so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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