did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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