Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
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