I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
