Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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