Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
