ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
