I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
