Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
