Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
