The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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