I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
