hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
