i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
