I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
