in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
