he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
