She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
