I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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