Grow some girl-balls and come out already
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
