Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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